A Recollection of my 75th Birthday Affair February 16, 2013, Knights of Columbus Hall, River Edge, New Jersey

It was a night to remember,
It was a surprise beyond belief,
It was an affair to remember!

I was caught unaware,
I was caught flat-footed,
I had no inkling that something eventful was brewing
I was completely blown away!

The attendees came from all over
From the Philippines, Canada, North Carolina
New Jersey, Connecticut, New York, Maryland.
They were close kins, relatives, neighbors, friends,acquaintances,
Former students in different high schools
Four sons and their families
And my fifth child, a daughter and her loved partner.
And yes, they were the planners and organizers of the well-kept surprise affair!

The surprise party was truly surpriseable,
The emcee was a dream!
The music and DJ'S were just right!
The cake was exquisite!
The flowers and wrist corsage were lovely,
The candle glow was romantic,
The food was sumptuous....
The program and participants were superb!
The souvenirs were unique.
The dancers were a...go.....go.....delightful!
The kids had a jolly clean fun!
The photographer captured the surprise in the photos she took
The raised eyebrows, the open mouth, the widest grin, the toothy laughter
The look of disbelief, the eloquent hand and graceful gestures
Not only of the honoree but also of the guests.

What can one say when the heart is full?
Just a sincere thank you to each and everyone
Who made the affair a most memorable and cherished one.
It feels good to be 75!!!!!!!

A Note to Gary and Melissa

Dear Gary and Melissa,

I have just opened a simply but tastefully-wrapped book of memory from you. 

It brought a tear or two as I thumbed through its pages.

You have captured most of the highlights of my being.

In the sunset of my life, I can only say a simple "thank you" from the bottom of my heart.

May GOD bless us all! GOD is good!

Lovingly, Mommy

(Written on the occasion of my 76th birthday)

The Empty Stocking

There was a house

It stood majestically in the heart of the town

It stood proudly in front of the seat of religious fervor

It stood beside the political seat of power

It stared directly at the erect monument of the national hero

It presided over the festive atmosphere during celebrations

honoring the Lady of the Candle.

I do not know how the grand old patriarch had designed it

I do not know exactly when it came into being

I do not know how the great posts have been erected

I do not know from where the tiles and wood have come from

but I do know that the grand old man had created a vision

of symmetry and rhythm and beauty into every nook and cranny.

The house with its five spacious boudoirs and airy living area

surrounded by a balcony abloom with milflores during spring

to lend its harmony with the May Flores de Mayo

and chrysanthemums, yellow, white, purple during autumn

to be attune to the memorial celebration to honor the departed

Is a sight to behold, a picture perfect structure that gives

dignity, honor, color to a glorious southern town.

The house has seen the reign of the conquistadores

who called the Malayan forbears "los indios"

The house has catered to the chinky eyed nippon soldiers as they

danced and made merry-making in the airy living area

when they occupied it and made it their quarters

So they could preside in the early morning rituals of the townfolks

as they do their calisthenics in front of the warlords

counting...itcs, ni, san, si... over a speaker

While the owners cower somewhere in fear, powerless over their

priceless abode, fearful lest they get entangled in

the greedy, brutal power of the usurper with

their glistening bayonets and mirthful laughter!

Somehow the house has withstood storms that whirled around it.

Somehow, the house was preserved with all its history of glory,

of pain, of endless buffet of wind and rain

Until one fateful day, with one careless flicker

from the adjacent structure made by an uncaring, mindless

gesture that turned the flicker into a full-blown

hell bent on razing beauty down to ashes!

Now the house is no more. Now the dream has burst into a flame

of nothingness. Now the memories are gone!

Not even a hint of glory remains.

There Was A Girl...Part Two

There was a girl
she lived in the south side of the jungle
There where the plants grow forever green
There where the weeds grow side by side
with the reddening petals of the rose
There where the sun blinks but for a moment
There where the dewdrops glimmer as the sun
rises in the early morning glow
There where the breeze blows gently
and playfully mess up the tiny little curls into
clinging little spirals forever wrapped tightly.
There where the old and the new meet somewhere
near the curb to meet and merge and be as one.

I know this place somewhere in the south
No matter where the wind blows
It shall beckon and it shall wave and revive
The message loud and clear to recall and be reconciled
with the hidden past and the troubled years
Time has a way of hiding the checkered moments
that colored ones life with a rainbow
But the place remains beckoning and re-awakening
memories of days gone by
Indelible imprints, marked and unmarked
written in the leaves of grass and trees
forever stored , waiting to be restored
By a spark, a flicker, a tap from somewhere, from nowhere...

There Was A Girl

There Was A Girl...

A tiny wisp of a girl

Shy, simple, unassuming

Naive? Maybe!

Innocent? Certainly!

Nonchalantly unconcerned with the ways of the world!

Quiet and silent in her own little sphere

Strangely fascinating in her modesty and femininity

Pure in thoughts, in words, in deed

Carefree but not careless

Warm, not lukewarm

Intense

Afire

Aglow

Alive!

When I was small

When i was small...

Steps fascinated me

I'd sit on the step and let the sun shine on me

I'd watch the spider orchids bathe on the streaming light

I'd feel the warmth creeping on my skin

And let the glow permeate my whole being

Till the steps burn and I heave a sigh of relief.



When i was small

I'd try one step at a time

To reach what seems to be the unreachable rung

I'd look up and let my sight catch the gleam of the wavering shadow

I'd close my eyes and let just a flicker of light guide my sight to the top

And i sway as the step goes one after the other

Till there is no more.



What is it in steps that fascinate and catch my imagination?

Why am i lured to glide up and catch the sun

Before it is covered by the misty drift somewhere along the way.

I see the orchids gracefully dancing oblivious of the scorching and searing sun

The steps are forever inviting me to go higher

Till the apex is reached and I can smile.

Hibernation

Today, February 7, 2009, I woke up from a deep slumber. Strange that for more than two years, I have fallen asleep, my thoughts lingering but not solidifying, my heart heavy with a restlessness so consuming. There is a numbness that tingles in my bones, my muscle, my veins, my sinews.

I feel a strangeness that's happening. A melancholy strain is playing somewhere.
I need the strength to waken up fully and get me out of this numbing hibernation.

Somehow, sometime, my senses, my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts
would bring me back to reality and fill me again with music,
with color and with vitality!

Tenth Death Anniversary Prayer for Ben Mercado

On the 10th death anniversary of Ben Mercado,Jr., March 4, 2007
Neil Michael (Nikki) Santos said this prayer:

God our Father,

Today, we remember your son, Uncle Ben Mercado.
We recall the fruitful time he spent with us here on earth.
He was an engineer, and we recall his work and accomplishments,
the things he built, his honors and achievements, his joys and sorrows
and his still on-going project and biggest blessing, his family.

Father, all our lives are richer having known him.
His departure has left us all a wound in our hearts,
a wound we pray will not heal as we never want to forget
and somehow let his life live through our own.

We celebrate today, not in sadness, but with hope and joy
with the knowledge that death is not the end;
that all who have died, somehow, still live.
A reminder among us still living that life is changed, not taken away.

In company with Christ, who died and now lives,
May he and all the faithful departed rejoice in your kingdom,
where all tears are wiped away.

Father, unite us together again in one family,
to live in your heavenly presence forever. Amen.

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord,
And let perpetual light shine upon him.
May he rest in peace. Amen

Message to David On His Confirmation

Minamahal kong David,
Binabati kita sa pagtatapos mo ng iyong Spiritual Retreat ngayong araw na ito, March 24, 2007! Ngayon ang simula ng iyong tunay na paglaki hindi lamang sa pangangatawan pero lalo na sa iyong buhay na pang-spirituwal.

Nakita ko ang bilis ng iyong paglaki at pagkamulat sa mga bagay-bagay sa ating kapaligiran at ang pagyabong ng iyong mga katangian na nanggaling sa ating Maykapal. Ikaw ay pinagpala ng Diyos ng sari-saring kakayahan, karunungan at kahasaan.Sa bawa't biyaya na ibinibigay sa atin ng Diyos, dapat mong malaman na malaki ang kanyang pag-asa na ikaw ay magiging tunay na "responsible at accountable" sa mga biyayang ito.

Gabi-gabi bago ako matulog ay nagdadasal ako kasabay ni Sr. Angelica at isa ka sa walong (8) apo ko na palaging kasali sa dasal ko. Hinihiling ko sa Diyos na maunawaan mo ang lahat ng mga bagay-bagay tungkol sa mga biyayang ipinagkaloob niya sa iyo. "To whom much is given, much is also expected in return."

Sana matuto kang magpasalamat sa Diyos sa lahat ng kanyang ipinagkakaloob sa iyo, kahit na sa mga karanasan mo na sa palagay mo ay hindi mo gusto. Lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay natin ay may dahilan kaya palagi kang magpasalamat at magdasal ng papuri sa Diyos. Kasama ka sa araw araw na pagdadasal ko sa Diyos.

Ang nagmamahal sa iyo,
Lola Nitz

Dear David,

I greet you today, the end of your two-day Spiritual Retreat! Today marks the beginning of your growth, not only physically, but most importantly your spiritual growth.

I have seen and watched you grow and become aware of the many things in and around you. I have noted your growth in your abilities, capabilities and potentials. God has blessed you with so many talents, skills and wisdom. Always remember that with every gift that God has blessed you with, there is a corresponding expectation and hope that you will be responsible and accountable for all these blessings.

Every night before I sleep, I pray together with Sr. Angelica and you are one among my eight (8) grandchildren whom I pray for. I pray to God that you will understand that "to whom much is given, much is also expected in return."

May you give thanks to the Lord for everything and anything that comes your way, even for the not-so-good and painful experiences. All that happen to us have a reason, so praise and thank the Lord all the time. I'll keep you always in my prayers.

Lovingly,
Lola Nitz

START Of A NEW DAWN

It's time for Ryan and family to go,
It's time for Ryan to start on a new venture,
It's time for his young family to explore what's beyond,
It's time to bid adieu to the memories of ten long years
of minding the store, of attending to the never-ending
challenges and struggles that he managed after the untimely
demise of the patriarch and the semi- retirement of the matriarch.
Yes, it's time to spread out his wings
To seek and find the meaning of life
Together with the light of his life
And the little spices that flavor his life.
It's time to fly and soar and go for his dream!
May the Almighty be with you in your search for a new Life!

THANKSGIVING DAY PRAYER
(Clipped from Ann Landers)

We come to this table today, O Lord,
humble,thankful and glad.
We thank thee first for the great miracle of life,
for the exaltation of being human,
for the capacity to love.
We thank thee for joys both great and simple -
For wonder, dreams and hope;
For the newness of each day;
For laughter and song and a merry heart;
For compassion waiting within to be kindled;
For the forbearance of friends
and the smile of a stranger;
For the arching of the earth and trees
and heavens and the fruit of all three;
For the wisdom of the old;
For the courage of the young;
For the promise of the child;
For the strength that comes when needed;
For our family united today and everyday.
Of those to whom much is given, much is required,
May we, our children, and our children's children
remember this.

O heavenly Father:
We thank thee for food and remember the hungry;
We thank thee for health and remember the sick;
We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless;
We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service
that thy gifts to us may be used for others. AMEN.

A funny song was sung by the well-wishers during the golden anniversary of a beautiful couple,Chong and Jimmy on May 17, 2004. To the tune of "Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music, the song goes....

"Maalox and eyedrops and needles for reviving
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Jeepneys and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Pollident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of our favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones crack,
When the knees go bad,
We simply remember our favorite things
And then we don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of our favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin,
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then we remember the great life we've had,
And then we don't feel so bad!"

Lola Nitz' message to Denise on her 18th birthday....

Dear Denise,
Tonight I bring with me the wishes of the Mercado side of your family. We wish you a very happy birthday! You are one of the best things that have happened to us. You are our first grandchild and our first granddaughter. We have watched you grow and develop not only in beauty but also in wisdom and in grace. We thank the Lord for the gift which is "you'.

Our main wish is for you to be able to follow your dream. Someone has said,"if you can dream it, you can do it." In following that dream we ask you to be guided by four important reminders and they are:

"that you think without confusion clearly;
that you love your fellowmen sincerely;
that you act from honest motives purely;
and last but certainly not the least,
that you trust in God and Heaven securely."

Happy Birthday Denise!

TAPESTRY

Unfinished...
the tapestry has skipped
a knot on March 4, 1997
and each thread hung limp
as it cannot cling
and bond together
the dream.
Lost forever...
thirty eight intricate knots
gingerly and painstakingly tied
to bind and bond and gel
to reach
a high
a bliss!
I cannot in my misery
vision the dream,
It is lost in a misty haze.
The tapestry lay in a lifeless heap.

Frostbite
(based on an incident in a port of entry almost ten years ago)

I felt my first frostbite
one balmy day in September 1996
in a cramped port of entry
in Minneapolis... and I shed tears!

The hawk-eyed, eagle-nosed inspector
leafed through my pocketbook,
scrutinized every crease and fold that held
the lifeline to a strange new land.

With a cynical smile from the
curling bemustached mouth,
the iron-hand of power
pricked where it hurt most!

Not for a moment did he read
the confused emotions,
the frightened look.

Not for a second did he feel compassion!
All that he imagined was a nod of triumph,
A vulture over a prey!
Oh! I shivered at that first frostbite
that one balmy day in September!

Winter
death of the year
plants die
animals hibernate
snowflakes
scintillating mantle of white
covering the ugly patches of earth,
the dry stumps and brown stubbles,
giving the landscape
an illusion of magical beauty.
Winter
cold and dreary
damp and dry
cold sores, dry skin,cracked lips,
sore fingertips,low back pains.
freezing temperature,frozen taps,
frosted windshields,icicles
testing endurance to the limits.
Winter
dark clothes, heavy jackets, gloves and mitts
ear muffs,shawl, muffler, tights,thick socks
hiding the bulges and the unsightly contour
of an aging, aching and hurting body
It's winter of one's life.........wistful longing for spring!

The Story of the Empty Stocking
Once
upon a
midnight
clear, there
was a child's
cry. A blazing
star hung on the
stable, and wise men
came to bring gifts. We
haven't forgotten that night
down the centuries. We celebrate
it with the cry of bells and gifts,
especially with gifts. We buy them;
we wrap them; we put them under the tree.
You give me a book; I give you a tie;
Cousin Martha has always wanted a lemon squeezer!
Oh! we forget nobody, adult or child.All the
stockings are filled. All that is except one. We have even
forgotten to hung it up. The stocking for the Child
born in a manger! It is His birthday we are celebrating!
don't ever let us forget that! Let us hung His stocking
and fill it with the gift of love, patience, tolerance, understanding
for each other, all that is needed to have Peace in ourselves
peace with our fellowmen, peace for mankind.
This is not an original story. It is based on a speech made by a known movie actor,
I think it was Cary Grant. At this time of the year it is good to reflect on the message.

Memorable and Sad Reminders
Eight days of rains in Bogota, New Jersey
in the first weeks of
the month of October,
year 2005
have soaked my files and records
being kept in the basement
for a good number of years.
A week after the inundation, and
having just flown back from my
country of origin, the Philippines,
I had the chance to go over the wet files
to see what can be discarded,
what can still be dried and kept,
what memoirs should be forgotten,
what memories should be kept preserved!
I was jolted to see an envelop
that contained so much memories!
An itinerary for a
Northwest Airlines flight #72
for September 11, 2001, Tuesday,
from Manila to Newark,NJ with
a brief, stopover in Nagoya, Japan
and in Detroit of the US of A.
A three $5.00 meal vouchers
issued by KLM Northwest dated
September 14 of 2001 at
Winnepeg, Canada, certainly
not a part of my itinerary.
An unused boarding pass from Nagoya
to Detroit for Seat #29 D
for 1330 pm.
Two baggage claim checks
that were never used
for unloading at Newark, New Jersey.
And last but not the least,
A receipt and itinerary from
Greyhound Lines,Inc.
showing departure from Detroit
on the 14th of September at 10:35 am,
arrival at Pittsburgh at 6:15pm;
departure from Pittsburgh at 6:45pm;
arrival at Philadelphia at 1:15 am;
and on September 15, 1:35 am,
departure from Philadelphia and
arrival at Newark, New Jersey at 3:20 am.
I was met by anxious and exasperated kins
who had been waiting since September 11.
This had been the longest flight that
I have taken from the
Philippines to New Jersey.
The normal flight should have been
departure from Manila on September 11,
arrival in Newark same day September 11.
Should I discard the contents of this envelop
and bury the memories
of the four days being stranded at
Winnepeg,Canada?
of the five days of uncertainties and
anxieties not only of myself but
those who were nervously waiting
for my return?
of the discomfort felt while waiting
for hours on the plane for a go-signal
to disembark
where we had no visas
to step on that foreign soil?
of experiencing snipping dogs,
meticulous inspections of every bit of
parcel in our bags and luggage,
and the one- on- one interviews by the
military as we were about to be
brought to our hotel for the night,
of endless meetings with airline personnel
and government officials of Winnepeg
on the matters of funds regarding
accommodations, flights and the like!
Oh should I forget the gruelling 24-hour
Greyhound bus ride I decided to take
to bring me to my destination
from Detroit to Newark, New Jersey
by way of Pittsburgh and
Philadelphia ?
No, I don't think I should forget
that I was also a victim of the Sept 11
terrorist attack that put down two
buildings in New York, a plane
carrying hapless passengers, and thousands
of people lost, injured and dead
because of the treacherous attack.
I won't forget the Filipinos in Winnepeg,
Canada who gave us support morally
and otherwise during our ordeal,
I won't forget Northwest Airlines that billeted
us in a hotel instead of making us
sleep in the airport or elsewhere
and shouldered our accomodations even
for just a day,
I won't forget the governor of Winnepeg
that agreed to shoulder our expenses for the
second day in the hotel,
I won't forget the Northwest stewardess
who stayed with us and gave assurances.
I won't forget the patience of my kith and kins
who anxiously waited and searched for
my whereabouts because I could
not communicate with them
in the midst of chaos and confusion.
I thank the Lord for giving me the
courage to withstand all the discomforts
especially the gruelling 24-hour bus ride
from Detroit to Newark.
Yes, I will keep all the reminders in my
file to preserve the memories.

THINGS I'LL MISS
Sunday, I'll fly to Bogota
of the state of New Jersey
in the US of A.
Surely I'll miss so many things,
but most of all I'll miss
the "little ones".
I'll miss the sticker girl!
who loves to put art and color
in every nook,
every cranny,
every dull and plain surface,
and even on shirts!
I'll the miss the dribbler!
He loves to dribble and kick
in the bedroom,
in the sala, in the dining area,
everywhere,except in the toy room.
I'll miss the "oh, whatever" guy,
He picks the phone,asks questions,
kills questions with his "oh,whatever"
cute expression.
I'll miss the "spic and span" young lady!
She can't stand chaos,
she can't stand clutters and mess,
she stands for order,neatness and system
she's very prim and proper!
It was fun being with them
for three short months!
They certainly munched with "gusto"
my "Belgian Sugar Wafers "!

Paradox
The dictionary defines paradox as
a seemingly contradictory statement
that may nonetheless be true. The
word is synonymous to enigma as
in the enigma of the Sphinx, mystery as
in the mystery of the Trinity,
oddity, puzzle, inconsistency, absurdity
and the like.
In my slumbook,
I have quoted "the paradox of
climbing high to lowest depths; and
the Christian way of bending low
to reach the stars."
The world is now reeling and operating
on many paradoxes and ironies.One
newspaper columnist has enumerated
some of the many inconsistencies
in and around us.I cannot help but
become more aware and conscious
of the many oddities and absurdities
in the name of progress, and I quote:
"taller buildings but shorter tempers;
wider freeways but narrower viewpoints;
bigger houses but smaller families;
fancier houses but broken homes;
more conveniences but less time;
more degrees but less common sense;
more knowledge but less judgment;
more experts but more problems;
more medicine but less wellness;
higher incomes but lower morals;
more food but less appeasement;
more kinds of food but less nutrition;
more acquaintances but fewer friends;
more effort but less success;
more leisure but less fun;
much in the show window but
nothing in the stockroom."
On behavior and character,
we notice the propensity
of people to:
"drive too recklessly and fast,
get too angry too quickly,
spend too recklessly,
stay up too late,
get up too tired,
talk too much,
lie too often
watch TV too much,
love too seldom,
laugh too little,
read too seldom,
pray too little.
As a people,we have
multiplied our possessions but
reduced our values;
learned to make a living, but
not a life;
we've added years to life,but
not life to years;
we've been all the way to
the moon and back, but we
have trouble crossing the street to
meet the new neighbor;
we've conquered outer space, but
not inner space,
we've done larger things, but
not better things;
we've cleaned up the air,but
polluted the soul,
we've split the atom, but
not our prejudice,
we write more, but learn less
plan more but accomplish less
we've learned to rush, but
not to wait.
we build more computers to
hold more information,to produce
more copies than ever, but have less
communication,
we've become long on quantity,but
short in quality.
These are the times of fast foods but
slow digestion,
tall men but short character,
steep profits and shallow relationships.
these are the days of two incomes,but
more divorce.
These are the days of quick trips,
disposable diapers,
throwaway morality,
one- night stands, and
pills that do everything
from cheer,
to quiet,
to kill.
In a line,
these are the times that try men's soul!